Offensive Crayons
$22.99 Original price was: $22.99.$13.99Current price is: $13.99.
Twenty-four hilariously honest crayon colors that say everything you were too polite to say about the holiday season. A gift Janet from accounting will actually remember.
| Weight | 0.3 oz |
|---|---|
| Brand: | Wood Rocket |
| Design | Holiday Edition, Original |
| Color: | Multi |
| Audience | Couples |
The holiday gag gift that says what everyone’s actually thinking.
Fun gifts feel even better when they arrive discreetly β and this Wood Rocket novelty crayon set delivers on both counts. Forty-odd color names capture the full awkward, stressful, occasionally unbearable spirit of the season in a multi-color set that’s marginally better than a $10 Starbucks gift card. Your secret is safe with us.
Holiday Gag Gift Features & Specifications
Everything you need to know about the Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition before you wrap it.
24-Count Multi-Color Set
- 24 assorted crayon colors
- 22β24 distinct shades per box
- Multi-color holiday palette
Printed Color Names
- Joke lands on every crayon
- Names printed directly on each stick
- Read-aloud guaranteed laughs
Gift-Ready Packaging
- Box keeps all crayons together
- Ready to gift straight from box
- No extra wrapping needed
Material & Care
- Standard wax crayon materials
- Keep away from direct heat
- Store in original box
Holiday Gag Gift User Guide & Play Styles
The white elephant gift that actually gets remembered.
White elephant exchanges live and die by the laughs-per-dollar ratio β and this funny holiday gift from Wood Rocket punches well above its weight. Crack open the box, pass it around, and let the multi-color crayon names do the work. The printed labels mean the joke is self-contained; no setup required. Clean up after the holiday party is just as easy β standard wax crayon materials wipe off most surfaces, and the original box keeps everything organized. Browse more options in our party games section for other crowd-pleasing picks.
Stocking stuffers and Secret Santa entries that skip the boring.
A novelty holiday gift needs two things: instant impact and easy transport. This offensive crayon set is compact, lightweight, and delivers the reaction the moment the lid comes off. It works equally well as a stocking stuffer for a sibling, a Secret Santa entry under $25, or a passive-aggressive contribution to the office gift exchange. Wood Rocket designed the set around the awkward emotional spectrum of the season β discreet shipping means it arrives in a plain brown box with zero spoilers. For more inspired gift ideas for couples or friends, explore Couples Pleasure picks at Discreet Toys.
More Novelty Gifts from Wood Rocket
Looking for more funny holiday gift options? Browse the full Wood Rocket lineup in our party games section.
Discreet Toys is veteran-owned and operated. Every order ships in a plain brown box with a discreet billing descriptor β your privacy is the priority from checkout to doorstep. Questions about your order? Our returns & refund policy covers the details. Free shipping on orders $69 or more.
It’s only freaky the first time.
Free Shipping
on Orders $69+
Or any product with a HOT label. Free Standard Shipping applies automatically at checkout, no code needed. Every order ships within 1 business day in a plain brown box.
Day
Pick Your Speed at Checkout
Arrives in 2β5 business days.
Arrives in 2β3 business days.
Arrives in 1β3 business days.
Delivery days count from the day your order ships. They're estimates, not guarantees. Orders of $200 or more may be held up to 3 business days for verification before they ship. Packages over 5 lb add a weight-based charge, shown at checkout before you pay. Read the full shipping policy
Plain Brown Box
No logos and no product names on the box. The label never says Discreet.toys or what's inside.
Discreet Billing
Your card statement shows DT WELLNESS STORE, never Discreet Toys or what you bought.
Tracking by Email
We email your tracking number once your order ships.
How Your Order Arrives
Order Placed
Pick your shipping speed at checkout
Packed Discreetly
Plain brown box, discreet label
Ships in 1 Business Day
Tracking emailed to you
At Your Door
2β5 business days on Standard, sooner with Priority or Express
Veteran-Owned & Operated
Your secret is safe with us, from checkout to doorstep. Questions? Text 813-602-2480 or email contactus@discreet.toys. It's only freaky the first time.

