Offensive Crayons

Original price was: $22.99.Current price is: $13.99.

Twenty-four hilariously honest crayon colors that say everything you were too polite to say about the holiday season. A gift Janet from accounting will actually remember.

Weight0.3 oz
Brand:
DesignHoliday Edition, Original
Color:
Audience
Add $69.00 for FREE standard shipping
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Description

Holiday Gag Gift β€” Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition by Wood Rocket

The holiday gag gift that says what everyone’s actually thinking.

Fun gifts feel even better when they arrive discreetly β€” and this Wood Rocket novelty crayon set delivers on both counts. Forty-odd color names capture the full awkward, stressful, occasionally unbearable spirit of the season in a multi-color set that’s marginally better than a $10 Starbucks gift card. Your secret is safe with us.

Holiday Gag Gift Features & Specifications

Everything you need to know about the Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition before you wrap it.

24-Count Multi-Color Set

  • 24 assorted crayon colors
  • 22–24 distinct shades per box
  • Multi-color holiday palette

Printed Color Names

  • Joke lands on every crayon
  • Names printed directly on each stick
  • Read-aloud guaranteed laughs

Gift-Ready Packaging

  • Box keeps all crayons together
  • Ready to gift straight from box
  • No extra wrapping needed

Material & Care

  • Standard wax crayon materials
  • Keep away from direct heat
  • Store in original box

Holiday Gag Gift User Guide & Play Styles

The white elephant gift that actually gets remembered.

White elephant exchanges live and die by the laughs-per-dollar ratio β€” and this funny holiday gift from Wood Rocket punches well above its weight. Crack open the box, pass it around, and let the multi-color crayon names do the work. The printed labels mean the joke is self-contained; no setup required. Clean up after the holiday party is just as easy β€” standard wax crayon materials wipe off most surfaces, and the original box keeps everything organized. Browse more options in our party games section for other crowd-pleasing picks.

Stocking stuffers and Secret Santa entries that skip the boring.

A novelty holiday gift needs two things: instant impact and easy transport. This offensive crayon set is compact, lightweight, and delivers the reaction the moment the lid comes off. It works equally well as a stocking stuffer for a sibling, a Secret Santa entry under $25, or a passive-aggressive contribution to the office gift exchange. Wood Rocket designed the set around the awkward emotional spectrum of the season β€” discreet shipping means it arrives in a plain brown box with zero spoilers. For more inspired gift ideas for couples or friends, explore Couples Pleasure picks at Discreet Toys.

Plain-Box Shipping
3-Day Delivery
Veteran Owned
Body-Safe Materials

Discreet Toys is veteran-owned and operated. Every order ships in a plain brown box with a discreet billing descriptor β€” your privacy is the priority from checkout to doorstep. Questions about your order? Our returns & refund policy covers the details. Free shipping on orders $69 or more.

It’s only freaky the first time.

Shipping & Delivery
πŸ“¦ Discreet Shipping

Free Shipping
on Orders $69+

Or any product with a HOT label. Free Standard Shipping applies automatically at checkout, no code needed. Every order ships within 1 business day in a plain brown box.

Pick Your Speed at Checkout

Priority Mail (USPS)
$17.95
$9.95 on orders $69+.
Arrives in 2–3 business days.
Priority Mail Express (USPS)
$49.95
$41.95 on orders $69+.
Arrives in 1–3 business days.

Delivery days count from the day your order ships. They're estimates, not guarantees. Orders of $200 or more may be held up to 3 business days for verification before they ship. Packages over 5 lb add a weight-based charge, shown at checkout before you pay. Read the full shipping policy

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Plain Brown Box

No logos and no product names on the box. The label never says Discreet.toys or what's inside.

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Discreet Billing

Your card statement shows DT WELLNESS STORE, never Discreet Toys or what you bought.

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Tracking by Email

We email your tracking number once your order ships.

How Your Order Arrives

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1
Order Placed

Pick your shipping speed at checkout

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2
Packed Discreetly

Plain brown box, discreet label

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3
Ships in 1 Business Day

Tracking emailed to you

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4
At Your Door

2–5 business days on Standard, sooner with Priority or Express