Whether you’re signing checks, jotting grocery lists, or leaving passive-aggressive notes for your roommate, you might as well do it with a pen that truly gets you. The Cat People Pens 5-Pack from Wood Rocket is loaded with five relatable, cat-lover-approved sayings that capture the glorious indignity of life with a feline overlord.

Material & Construction

Each pen in this multi-color set is a standard ballpoint-style writing instrument with a printed phrase running along the barrel. The set arrives with five distinct sayings, so you can keep one at your desk, one in your bag, one by the couch (for the cat), and hand off the rest as gifts. Because honestly, you know at least four other people exactly like you.

How to Use

Uncap and write — it really is that simple. The five phrases included are: Show me your kitties; Sorry I’m late, my cat was napping on me; Dogs have owners, cats have staff; All my stuff is covered in cat hair; and You don’t own a cat, you know a cat. Keep them for yourself, split them up as stocking stuffers, or gift the whole set to the cat person in your life who has been waiting their entire career for office supplies that finally speak their truth.

Care & Cleaning

Store the pens with caps on to keep the ink flowing. Keep them out of direct sunlight and extreme heat to maintain print quality on the barrel. Replace when ink runs out — sadly, the cat hair covering everything is non-refillable.

Discreet Shipping

Your order ships in a plain brown box with no mention of the contents on the outside — because your mail carrier doesn’t need to know you have opinions about cat ownership. Orders of $69 or more qualify for free shipping, and most orders arrive in about 3 days via USPS Priority Mail. Discreet Toys is proud to be a veteran-owned business committed to a completely judgment-free shopping experience.