The Complete Guide to Dildos: Types, Safety, Usage, and Choosing the Right One

What is a Dildo? Definition and Purpose

A dildo is a sex toy designed primarily for penetration. Unlike vibrators (which include a motor for vibration), dildos are typically non-vibrating toys shaped for insertion into the vagina, anus, or mouth. The defining characteristics of dildos are:

• Designed for penetration: The primary purpose is to simulate the sensation of penetrative sex
• Varied shapes and sizes: From realistic to abstract, small to large, straight to curved
• Multiple uses: Can be used for vaginal penetration, anal play, partner play, and solo exploration
• Material diversity: Available in silicone, glass, metal, and various other body-safe materials
• No power source needed: Unlike vibrators, most dildos require no batteries or charging

Brief History of Dildos

Dildos have a surprisingly rich history spanning millennia. Archaeological evidence suggests that stone phalluses were used as sexual aids as far back as the Stone Age. Ancient Greeks documented the use of dildos called "olisbos," often made from leather or wood. Throughout history, various cultures have created dildos from materials including jade, ivory, rubber, and eventually modern materials like silicone.

The modern sex toy industry began taking shape in the 1960s and 1970s with the advent of body-safe materials and more open attitudes toward sexuality. Today's dildos benefit from advances in material science, ergonomic design, and a much broader acceptance of sexual wellness products.

Benefits of Using Dildos

Dildos offer numerous benefits for sexual health, pleasure, and wellness:

Types of Dildos: A Comprehensive Overview

The dildo market offers incredible variety. Understanding the different types helps you select the right option for your needs and preferences.

Dildo Materials: Safety and Characteristics

The material of your dildo significantly affects its safety, sensation, maintenance requirements, and longevity. Always prioritize body-safe materials.

How to Choose the Right Dildo for You

With so many options available, selecting your first dildo (or adding to your collection) requires considering several factors:

1. Consider Your Experience Level

2. Determine Your Primary Use

Intended Use	Best Dildo Characteristics	Recommended Products
Vaginal Penetration	Any length/width comfortable for you, straight or curved depending on G-spot preference	Standard dildos, G-spot curves
Anal Play	MUST have flared base, often narrower, smoother taper, consider length for depth preference	Anal-safe dildos, prostate massagers
Strap-On/Partner Use	Flared base for harness compatibility, appropriate length for comfort (5-7 inches often ideal), not too flexible	Harness-compatible dildos, complete kits
Hands-Free/Riding	Strong suction cup base, appropriate length for positions, stable at the base	Suction cup dildos
Temperature Play	Glass or stainless steel (can be safely warmed or cooled)	Glass dildos, steel dildos
G-Spot Stimulation	Pronounced upward curve, often bulbous tip, firm enough for pressure	Curved G-spot dildos
Visual Stimulation	Realistic design if that appeals, or artistic/fantasy if preferred	Realistic dildos, artistic designs

3. Size Matters—But Perhaps Not How You Think

How to measure:

• Length: Total length vs. insertable length—always focus on insertable length (the part that will actually go inside you)
• Diameter/Width: Measured across the widest point. Circumference is the distance around (circumference = diameter × 3.14)
• Helpful tip: To visualize size, find a cylindrical household object (like a paper towel tube, flashlight, or marker) that approximates the diameter and see how it feels in your hand

Size selection guidelines:

• First dildo: Go smaller than you think—you can always size up
• Width often matters more than length: Girth creates the sensation of "fullness"
• For anal: Start narrower than vaginal toys—the anus doesn't self-lubricate and requires more gradual stretching
• Consider your hand size: If you comfortably use 2-3 fingers during masturbation, that gives you a starting point for dildo width

4. Aesthetic Preferences

How your dildo looks matters to your enjoyment! Consider:

• Realistic vs. non-realistic: Some people are aroused by realistic anatomy, while others find it off-putting. Both preferences are completely valid
• Color: From realistic flesh tones to vibrant purples, blues, blacks, or glittery fantasy colors
• Texture: Smooth, veined, ribbed, bumped, or uniquely textured
• Shape: Straight, curved, artistic, abstract, or fantasy-inspired

How to Use a Dildo: Techniques and Tips

Using a dildo seems straightforward, but technique can significantly impact your enjoyment and comfort.

Before You Begin: Preparation

Vaginal Use Techniques

Basic insertion:

1. Arouse yourself first: Use manual stimulation, clitoral vibrators, porn, erotica, or fantasy to become aroused before penetration. Arousal causes the vagina to lengthen and lubricate naturally
2. Apply lubricant generously: Put lube on the dildo and on your vulva and vaginal opening
3. Start slowly: Gently press the tip against your vaginal opening and slowly insert. Don't force—let your body open gradually
4. Find comfortable depth: Insert to a depth that feels good. You don't need to use the entire length
5. Experiment with motion: Try thrusting in and out, holding still with sustained pressure, rocking side to side, circular motions, or grinding
6. Adjust angle: Changing angle even slightly can dramatically change sensation, especially for G-spot targeting
7. Combine with clitoral stimulation: Many women find that adding clitoral stimulation makes dildo use more pleasurable

For G-spot targeting:

• Use a curved dildo with the curve facing upward (toward your belly)
• Insert 2-3 inches and angle upward, pressing firmly against the front vaginal wall
• Use a "come hither" motion or sustained pressure rather than in-and-out thrusting
• Be patient—G-spot orgasms often take more time to build than clitoral ones

Anal Use Techniques

Safe anal insertion:

1. Start with smaller toys: If you're new to anal play, begin with anal training kits that progress from small to larger
2. Use abundant lubricant: Apply lube to the toy and around your anus. Reapply frequently. Consider thicker anal-specific lubricants
3. Relax the sphincter: The anal sphincter is a muscle that tenses when you're nervous. Take deep breaths and consciously relax
4. Apply gentle pressure: Press the tip against your anus and wait for your body to relax and accept it. Don't force
5. Insert slowly: Go gradually, pausing whenever you feel resistance. Your body will adapt
6. Listen to your body: Some pressure is normal, but sharp pain is not. Stop if something hurts
7. Go slow with movement: Once inserted, start with minimal motion and gradually increase

For prostate stimulation:

• Use a curved prostate massager or dildo angled forward (toward the genitals)
• Insert 3-4 inches and curve forward, feeling for a walnut-sized gland
• Use firm pressure and massage motions rather than vigorous thrusting

Partnered Use

Incorporating dildos into partnered sex can enhance pleasure for both people:

• Manual stimulation by partner: One partner can use the dildo on the other, controlling depth, angle, and speed based on feedback
• Strap-on play: Using harnesses allows hands-free penetration. This works for any gender combination and is popular for pegging (anal penetration of men by female partners)
• Double penetration: Combine penile penetration with a dildo in the other orifice, or use two dildos simultaneously
• Visual stimulation: Some partners enjoy watching their partner use a dildo as visual foreplay
• Accessibility aid: For partners with erectile difficulties or physical disabilities, dildos can provide satisfying penetration

Advanced Techniques

• Hands-free riding: Attach suction cup dildos to floors, walls, or chairs and ride them in various positions
• Shower/bath play: Many dildos (especially silicone and glass) are waterproof. Suction to shower walls for hands-free fun
• Temperature play: Warm glass/metal dildos in warm water or cool them in the fridge for unique sensations
• Harness mounting to furniture: Some people mount dildo harnesses to pillows or furniture for creative angles

Cleaning, Care, and Storage

Proper maintenance ensures your dildo remains safe, hygienic, and long-lasting.

Cleaning by Material

Storage Best Practices

• Keep separate: Store silicone toys separately from each other or in individual bags—silicone can react with silicone, causing degradation
• Dry storage: Ensure toys are completely dry before storing to prevent mold or bacteria growth
• Climate control: Store in cool, dry place away from direct sunlight which can degrade some materials
• Storage solutions: Use individual storage bags, storage boxes, or dedicated toy storage furniture
• Discreet storage: If privacy is a concern, consider lockable storage boxes or hidden storage solutions

When to Replace Your Dildo

Dildos should be replaced when:

• Material shows cracks, tears, or degradation
• Glass or metal has chips or sharp edges
• Silicone becomes sticky or tacky (material breakdown)
• There's a persistent odor even after thorough cleaning
• Wood finish is damaged or peeling
• Any mold or discoloration that doesn't clean off

Quality silicone, glass, and metal dildos can last a lifetime with proper care. TPE and wood may need replacement every 1-3 years depending on use frequency.

Common Concerns and Troubleshooting

"I'm worried about size—what if it's too big or too small?"

Solution: Start smaller than you think you need. It's much better to size up gradually than to purchase something uncomfortable. Many retailers offer sizing kits with multiple diameters. Remember that arousal level significantly affects what size feels comfortable—what feels too big when unaroused might be perfect when fully aroused.

"Using a dildo hurts or feels uncomfortable"

Possible causes and solutions:

• Insufficient lubrication: Use more high-quality lubricant and reapply frequently
• Not enough arousal: Spend more time on foreplay or use clitoral stimulation before penetration
• Going too fast: Insert more slowly, allowing your body time to adjust
• Wrong size or shape: Try a smaller, more tapered, or differently shaped dildo
• Medical issue: Persistent pain during penetration can indicate conditions like vaginismus, pelvic floor dysfunction, or infections. Consult a healthcare provider
• Tensing up: Anxiety causes muscles to tense. Practice relaxation techniques and remind yourself there's no rush

"I can't orgasm from dildo use alone"

This is completely normal! Most women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Only about 18-30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. Solutions:

• Combine dildo use with clitoral vibrators or manual clitoral stimulation
• Try rabbit vibrators that provide both penetration and clitoral stimulation
• Focus on pleasure rather than orgasm—penetration can feel amazing without leading to climax
• Experiment with G-spot curved dildos—some women can orgasm from internal stimulation with the right angle and technique

"I'm embarrassed to buy or own a dildo"

Remember: Sexual pleasure is natural and healthy. Owning sex toys is extremely common—studies show that about 53% of women and 45% of men have used sex toys. There's no reason for shame or embarrassment. If purchasing in person feels uncomfortable, online shopping offers complete privacy with discreet packaging and billing.

"My partner feels threatened by my dildo use"

Communication strategies:

• Explain that dildos enhance pleasure but don't replace intimacy or emotional connection
• Emphasize that using toys has nothing to do with their "performance"—it's about adding variety
• Invite them to incorporate the dildo into partnered sex rather than making it separate
• Share articles about the benefits of sex toys for relationships
• Suggest trying toys designed for couples together
• If insecurity persists, consider discussing with a sex therapist

Special Considerations

Dildos and Sexual Health

Using dildos appropriately can support sexual health:

• Pelvic floor maintenance: Regular penetration helps maintain vaginal elasticity and tone
• Menopause support: Using dildos with vaginal moisturizers can help combat vaginal atrophy
• Vaginismus treatment: Graduated vaginal dilator sets are used medically to treat vaginismus and other conditions
• Post-surgical recovery: Doctors sometimes recommend vaginal dilation after certain pelvic surgeries
• Maintaining sexual function: For individuals not currently sexually active with partners, masturbation with dildos helps maintain healthy sexual response

Accessibility Considerations

For individuals with mobility limitations, chronic pain, or disabilities:

• Suction cup dildos: Allow hands-free use with less physical effort
• Dildos with handles: Easier to grip for those with hand strength or dexterity issues
• Positioning aids: Sex furniture and positioning pillows can make dildo use more comfortable
• Furniture mounting systems: Allow positioning at accessible angles

Gender Inclusivity

Dildos are for everyone, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation:

• Trans individuals: Dildos can be affirming tools for trans men and non-binary people, either for personal use or with partners. Pack-and-play dildos serve dual purposes
• Cisgender men: Many straight men enjoy anal penetration and prostate stimulation with dildos. This doesn't reflect on sexual orientation—it's simply anatomy
• Non-binary individuals: Body-affirming pleasure tools work for any anatomy
• All couples: Regardless of the gender composition of your relationship, dildos can enhance intimacy

Conclusion: Embracing Dildo Pleasure

Dildos are timeless pleasure tools that offer versatility, reliability, and satisfaction for solo and partnered sexual experiences. Their simplicity belies their effectiveness—no charging, no complicated settings, just pure, customizable sensation.

Whether you're exploring penetration for the first time, seeking G-spot orgasms, enhancing partnered sex, or simply enjoying the pleasure your body can experience, dildos provide a safe, body-positive way to explore your sexuality.

From your first tentative exploration to building an extensive collection, dildos offer a journey of discovery, pleasure, and sexual empowerment. Take your time, listen to your body, and enjoy the experience.